0
0
Halloo,
It’s been a while I talk about my health struggles. No matter how hard I try I am just not able to talk freely the way I want and the way I see many warriors talk openly about their struggles. Very frustrating for me.
I hope I finish writing this and post it unlike so many of my fibromyalgia experiences write-ups. Most of my fibromyalgia write-ups always look like me whinging or pointless, with no definite direction, and I end up discarding them. I am my own worst critic, I know.
I want to talk about my fierce struggles with my legs and feet. The last few months have been particularly rough, but I thank God that I am seeing positive changes.
A little background about my legs and feet– Despite not being a very fashion-conscious person I love high heels and absolutely detested flat shoes in my younger years. There is a kind of confidence I feel when I wear high heel shoes that I don’t get with flat shoes. I remembered many people asking me why I need to wear high heels despite being a tall person. It was hard to explain but I feel cool wearing them.
Fast forward to about 8 years back when fibromyalgia took over my legs and feet. I was in so much pain with my legs being so heavy I could barely move them. My feet hurt so badly that walking was a complete nightmare. High heels became a dream, in fact wearing them was the least of my problems then.
I was dragging myself up and down, it was a nightmare. Even before my physiotherapist told me to stop wearing high heels I had no choice but to stop. Wearing any shoes at all was a huge task not to talk of high heels.
Through tears, pains, and a lot of money spent I was able to get myself moving again with less pain. The pain never went away, it just became manageable and more bearable. I spent a lot of time and money on keeping myself as comfortable as possible and followed all the advice given by professionals.
I am not blowing my own trumpet here but I walked for about 45 minutes 3 times a week. At work, I don’t sit with my colleagues at lunchtime because I go for walks. Every hour I get up from my desk at work to climb the stairs, this is to prevent stiffness that comes with fibromyalgia. Through pain and sheer determination, I kept at it, not easy at all, I will tell you that much.
I walk very slowly, not because I want to but that is all the speed my legs and feet can allow. It is hard not to be affected when you see people that were far behind you catch up with you and later see them far ahead of you. The hard part is coming back exhausted after the walk that looks as if you were just strolling. Don’t feel sorry for me, we are not at that part of the story yet.
Apart from moving I also do stretches and yoga. I take medication and try to stay as stress-free as possible. It is a career on its own trying to live a normal life with fibromyalgia.
I started wearing a lot of flat shoes and was getting used to them. I still wear high heels on special occasions or to work once in a while. But, if I am going to be on my feet for a long time, it is definitely flat shoes.
Please note, I am only talking about just one tiny part of what I have to deal with as someone living with fibromyalgia. The other problems are there and doing their own things to poor me.
Now this year, which is the year 2021, has been particularly challenging with my leg and feet problems. Nothing seems to be working anymore, all my coping strategies are not yielding the expected results.
My legs and feet are tired. No matter how much I rested they just don’t want to cooperate. I can barely climb the stairs. Walking is agony. My legs are heavy, I have sharp pains in my knees, my feet seem to be on fire, even my toes hurt badly.
Wearing shoes is a nightmare. My feet feel as if they are broken or wounded but with no physical signs showing. I am sure nobody cries just because they are walking except me. my feet pulsed and throb just by me walking. Before you tell me to go to my GP, know that I already have a special seat in their practice from visiting so often. And they never find anything. No surprise there- Fibromyalgia does that!
I went to see a podiatrist, which cost a fortune. Another part of living with chronic pain and fibromyalgia that doesn’t get talked about much is the expense. Freaking expensive to see us standing like every other human being.
We shell out money we don’t have to have a fraction of the good health many people enjoy free of charge.
The podiatrist banned me from wearing any shoes at all except ASICS trainers- Kayano or GT 2000. These trainers cost €180 and I had to buy 2 because the podiatrist said to wear them all day, practically live in them. I hate wearing outside shoes inside my home, so I bought 2. One for indoors and the other for outdoors.
In my entire life, I have never bought a shoe worth up to €100. No way! I just don’t see the point. I am sure you see my dismay when I was told the recommended trainers are €180. I did a flip. I asked the shop assistant for the ones on sale and he said those types of trainers are hardly on sale.
Imagine that!
I bought them and have been wearing them for about 2 months now, couple with other coping techniques I am seeing changes for the better. I still struggle a lot but I am on my feet moving, all glory to almighty God.
Going everywhere with trainers is certainly comfortable, I never knew this before. I do wear trainers before but not often. Now, I wear it to work and everywhere and I have also noticed that a lot of people are wearing trainers too with clothes I would have considered are not to be paired with trainers. I am copying their styles.
Fibromyalgia is something that affects every aspect of the sufferer’s life. It is a pity the symptoms can’t be seen by naked eyes. It is so damn hard. I know life is hard, but fibromyalgia and all invisible illnesses out there make it even harder.
My husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary 2 weeks ago. My feet were in agony, I wore slippers just to take pictures to immortalize the day. This is the reality. I had to crop off our feet when posting the picture on my social media pages.
If you have been reading my posts you will know that I don’t write to look for pity. I write to show you a glimpse of what the life of a fibromyalgia warrior looks like. I write so that any warrior out there feeling alone will know that they are not.
Honestly, be very kind, understanding, and accommodating to your friends and family struggling with chronic invisible illnesses. It is not easy being them. Please, don’t judge what you don’t know. You have no idea how hard they are struggling and fighting to be as normal as possible.
Some of them may be like me, not very good at asking for help, so nobody is really asking them how they are. They have to struggle by themself. It is the reality on the ground, so be understanding. Most of the time they are exhausted, their level of pain is taxing on the body and the brain.
Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.
Stay with me,
Ruka
Stay with me,
Ruka
