9 Powerful Reasons Why Experiences Are Worth Sharing

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Halloo,

We are in an age where people do everything online, absolutely everything. Some people do not think this is healthy while some people applaud it. I am all about finding a healthy balance between the 2.

Now, as a Fibromyalgia sufferer, I can’t thank social media enough for the many coping techniques and benefits I have enjoyed online. My online support group has made my life meaningful over the years and I can’t thank them enough. I have never met most of them face-to-face but I have learned a lot from their experiences.

My healing from this dreadful condition started when I read someone’s experience shared on social media. Please read about it here.

I want to tell you how important sharing your experiences is to other people. It is very vital. Especially challenging experiences like living with invisible illnesses.

Invisible illnesses are not talked about enough, especially among Africans. We ignore the signs and shroud ourselves in secrecy because of stigmatization. I get it! Honestly, I do. But, I think it is time we stop, if not for anything but for the sake of our children who may be suffering from invisible illnesses. Let’s normalize speaking up and speaking out.

Let’s stop recycling traumas by keeping quiet.

Sharing is caring. We all have a voice, we just have to decide how we want to use it. Many lives are saved daily just by people coming out to share their experiences.

I have experienced first hand how some people attack, passively sometimes aggressively, those sharing challenging experiences as attention-seekers, or being told to do their healings in private.

Have a look at this image below👇🏿

Towards the end of the year 2018, I went through a very traumatic experience. My health suffered a great deal. A really major set back for me in my health journey. I honestly doubted whether I can recover my self-confidence back and be whole again. But I did!

All glory to God. I fought hard and I am still fighting. I had no one checking on me. NO ONE! I blamed nobody, it was my cross to bear. But, when I came out and decided to mention my struggle and my recovery, a so-called well-wisher, who I never knew see my contents all these years, went into my inbox to message me privately, she advised me to stop sharing my experiences as it is dangerous and some people may not wish me well.

I will tell you what I said to the unfortunate person who came to me with this unsolicited advice- “I am a blogger, sharing my experiences is what I choose to do”.

This didn’t sit well with my adviser as expected. She would have preferred I say Thank you. Sorry, those days are over.

I am also a 46-year old woman. If I can’t decide at this stage of my life what is good for me or not then I am a total failure. How I deal with my problems is entirely up to me. I don’t need anyone telling me how to do it.

Instead of listening to understand what I am trying to say, some people are hell-bent on seeing the negatives. I have had countless people telling me “Turn to God”, “Go and pray to God”, “Only God can help”, and stuff like that.

I am a God-fearing person. I pray and trust in God. But it annoys me greatly when people don’t take time to read but offer advice. God will not climb down to help, instead, God will send help through different channels to those who need it and actively seek it.

Using God’s name like this is how many people avoid the main problem staring them in the face. We should pray and follow our prayers with concrete actions. I have witnessed too many situations of people wasting their lives away in the name of God.

What are a few people committing suicides here and there if we can keep the status quo? Sad, sad, sad!!!!!

It is time we stop listening to people like this and keep speaking till our voices are being heard by those who will benefit from it.

Living with any chronic illness, especially invisible illnesses can be so lonely. These little write-ups by others are assurances for anyone in their homes going through it that they are not alone. I went through hell and will never wish anybody to go through the same. Sharing is not attention-seeking. A lot of people are dying in silence because they are afraid to speak up.

These are 9 Powerful Benefits of Sharing Challenging Experiences

1- Be the voice for the voiceless

You may not know this but those speaking out are advocating for those going through wars, especially invisible ones. They are the voice for the voiceless.

Why not add your voice to those already talking to make the message louder. Correct wrong information. Do the best you can with what is available to you.

Let those who wish to learn and appreciate how life is for those going through the same ordeal as yourself know what it is really like. Help speak out.

It not only online you can do this. Do it anywhere you can. Share your story any way you are comfortable with. Don’t let culture, religion, retarded mentality, or any other reasons put you out. Do it for you. Do it for others.

2- Point others in the right direction

Those who have been through the same journey can point others in the right direction. They can help them avoid pitfalls and mistakes. They can make the whole journey smoother and shorter.

I laugh sometimes when I hear people say to someone suffering “Seek help” or “Talk to someone”. I think most people think you just snap your fingers and the health professionals are queuing up to help you. It is not like that at all.

Some of these services are so expensive that an average income earner can’t afford it. So you have to wait for subsidies public services with a very long waiting list. When you finally see a doctor, you will be lucky if you get a sympathetic one. It is hard.

Sharing your experiences will prepare others for what to expect. The relatives of the people suffering will realise from your shared experiences to help in their own ways rather than leave everything for the medical professionals.

You can learn a lot from the experiences of others on practical things that can make your life easier while waiting for help from the doctors.

3- Shared experience might be the only support available to some people

Some people get more support and care from people they have never met than people they know in real life. Why is that?

I think this is because those online shared the same situation as most of us. Though family and friends may be supportive they may not fully grasp what the person is going through.

Imagine in your hour of need you meet someone who described what you are feeling as if you are the person describing it. Believe me, you will listen. Not only listen but listen with all your being. That is the power of shared experiences.

You never know when your story and experiences will be the help and the guide to someone else going through a similar ordeal. Keep sharing. Don’t be discouraged by those who have chained themselves down by one rule or another.

4- Sharing helps change damaging behaviour

We, humans, are so complex. Sharing experiences can show us we are all the same. Learning from others experiences will help us move away from damaging behaviour.

To beat mental health, it is a community effort not just an individual effort. To control behaviour, beliefs, words, stereotyping, We have to encourage and teach active listening.

Sharing challenging experiences with others may help to reduce social shame, which is a common trigger for stress. stress is known to damage the body in various ways.

You have no idea how many people suffering just agree to things just to keep the peace. This causes more stress and trauma. Stress also triggers the production of oestrogen, which can accelerate other illnesses.

I am using my voice to let people suffering know they don’t have to keep shrinking to make others comfortable. They have enough going on without adding this to their problems. Move away from situations that are causing you grief. Set boundaries.

5- Experiences shared this way are honest

It is very hard to give advice to some people. Most of us give curated answers just so that we are not blamed. We shy away from giving our honest opinion because we are not sure whether the person is ready or even want to hear the truth.

When people come out this way to tell their stories, they are coming from a very genuine place. They have had a traumatic experience and really wish others to hear and learn from them. So you hardly find embellishments, theatrical, or colouring to make their stories entertaining.

You won’t need to read medical jargons too, or some research done by some people in a laboratory. But straight forward true life story from someone like you telling you what you can try that are within your grasp. Never, ever underestimate the power of this.

6- Sharing challenging experiences is healing

In sharing experiences, there are no holds on you. You narrate what happened, the consequences, the actions, and the results. A wise person will know what to take from it. But because you are not directing it at anybody you are under no obligation to hold back.

My burden seems less heavy after unburdening my soul. I really don’t care anymore if I get sympathy from people. I breathe easier. I do it to heal.

I started out wanting to share my experiences of day-to-day living with chronic pain and fibromyalgia, but I couldn’t do it. I have seen so many people doing it and I thought I could. But it was just too hard for me. So I chose to draw from past experiences and talk about my journey as I discover new things.

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s always better to talk about the issues you’re facing rather than keeping them in. This is why I love writing about my experiences. I don’t think I can talk about them very well. Writing makes me feel heard.

Invisible illnesses are not so invisible if we only look closely and listen with empathy.

7- Speaking up is liberating

For me speaking out has been liberating. I never realised how much I was bottling up. Stuff like this is heavy, it weighs you down. Pour it out and see how lighter you will feel.

It may seem like complaining, moaning, but writing my experiences makes me feel good. Like I am doing something about it and not just sitting there taking all the blows being thrown at me. I feel useful. It sure feels good when you see that you are making an impact.

I am not good at speaking about my life so I write instead. Even with writing, it is not all aspect of my life that I can write about for public consumption, but the part that I am happy and comfortable to share I do. It has been a very freeing experience so far.

8- Sharing can save lives of others and yours

Speaking your truth can save the lives of others, and more importantly, it saves your life.

This will encourage most people suffering in silence to stop tiptoeing through life. That it is okay to be proud of themselves and their struggles.

It is not about being loud or putting the spotlight on yourself. It about not hiding. Staying true to who you really are, even if it makes some people uncomfortable.

Sharing your experience makes a powerful impact, never doubt it. Maybe only a few people see your contents or millions did, what matters is you are helping in your own little way.

You have no idea how much someone, right now, needed to hear or read what you have to say. How it may turn someone’s life around. If we all shy away from sharing think of the millions suffering waiting for help from doctors, who sometimes have no clue or are just not sympathetic enough.

9- Sharing experiences helps understand suffering children, especially teenagers.

How many of us have teenagers living with us who can’t get out of bed because of crippling anxiety and depression but mistaken as laziness? How are you supposed to know or offer help if you don’t know what you are dealing with? Reading a similar experience detailing symptoms from a sufferers point of view might be the wake-up call you need.

Many teenagers struggling with mental health are ignored because it is assumed that they are at an age where they must act strange. But listening to the voice of experience may just be the awakening a parent needs to take a closer look at their children and help better.

Some of these young people vocalise their problems to an adult in their lives but they are dismissed. Let me tell you from experience, that is even worse than the illness itself. You have just dismissed their suffering and the strength it takes to speak out. That is a soul-destroying habit!

Sharing similar experiences might just stop the recycling of the same dismissive attitude and behaviour being visited on others.

It is easier to deal with our problems when we have people who are supporting us. People who listen without being judgmental. Empathy, compassion, and understanding play major roles in healing.

And to the advice givers…..

The advice-givers, the opinionists. The people who just can’t help but see doom everywhere. I don’t blame you, I was once giving unsolicited advice on weight gain to people close to me, not knowing that some weight gain can be caused by some trauma the person may not have any control over. Just watch your words and actions!

Just because you speak out openly and candidly some people use that to give unsolicited advice instead of reading and digesting the information you are passing. Instead of listening and showing empathy.

I know people who never had one kind word to say since I have been talking about my battle with chronic pain, in fact, I never knew they were reading my contents. But immediately they hear about one medication or they want to sell me one medication, they come to offer me advice about it. Even though I appreciate it, but they are missing the point. Coming out is not for that!

If you really care to know why not ask someone you are worried about? Ask with compassion and genuineness how they are. Please take time to listen. Simple but so powerful.

Let’s not just listen or read to entertain ourselves but to learn and apply what we learn.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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