How Good Are You At Receiving Compliments?

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Halloo,

I am hoping that you are doing very well and staying safe in these difficult times of Covid-19. Please, let’s fight this virus together by doing all the safety activities we are asked to do. Thanks.

In my quest for personal development and building a peaceful lifestyle for myself I read this interesting article by Laura Jane Williams titled- How I finally learnt to accept kindness.

There are so many interesting points raised by this lady in this article. Most of these points I already know, believe, and practice.

What struck me and got me thinking is when she talked about the inability of some people to receive kind words, and compliments gracefully.

Here is the part of the article I am talking about:

Being vulnerable enough to receive a loving act terrifies us. Trauma makes us shun kindness. We can feel weak for accepting gestures of kindness, or undeserving. And that in itself is unkind, because the person extending the offer gets cut off at the knees. Think of the last time you gave a compliment and it was meant with, ‘Oh? This? It’s just H&M. Nothing special.’ Even a simple kind comment getting batted away with embarrassment can make the giver feel like they shouldn’t have bothered in the first place. The kinder thing is to receive the compliment, and say thank you – for you, and them.

I did a little bit of self-audit and realised that compliments and kind words sent to me in writing are easier for me to respond to effectively and gracefully. I really fall short with those compliments and kind words given to me face-to-face. How worrying is that?

I am one of those who never shy away from giving someone a compliment if I admire them or something about them. You will think that a person like me will know how to receive and respond to compliments gracefully. Unfortunately, I have not been responding appropriately to compliments.

Compliment my clothes, in person, I will probably make a joke to cover my unease. Tell me my shoes are superb, I will probably explain how I got them on a bargain. Tell me I am beautiful, I will probably ask you if you didn’t notice my tummy hanging out. Tell me something nice you like about me, I will have a story to tell about some past experiences. The list is endless. I just have to move the focus from the compliment to something less embarrassing to me. Why?

I have been doing this for so long that I never even think it is a problem. Maybe it is one of that inbred sense of modesty or humble behaviour we carry around, I am not sure of the origin.

There’s something in letting people be nice to us. Kind to us. Love us.

When I painfully realised that I am not very good at receiving kindness and compliments, I thought hard about those kind people who had genuinely appreciated me over the years and say so to my face, to show love, support, and kindness and something in me can’t just absorb their words without embarrassment. How they must have felt, it is like robbing them off their rewards. This is something I need to work on. I strongly suspect most people will be in the same situation as me.

This article gave me food for thought on this behaviour of mine. Laura, in her article, gave some insights into what experts think this kind of behaviour may cause and what benefits to be gained from being open to kindness on offer.

I sincerely apologise to you out there who has ever complimented me in any way and I responded inappropriately. It was done to cover my nervousness and embarrassment.

So as vulnerable as it is, I am going to work on accepting and absorbing compliments so that me, the recipient, and the giver of the compliment will enjoy the rewards to the maximum.

Go on, gizzus a compliment when you see us!

At the end of her article, Laura challenged us, her readers, to humbly receive kindness today. Are you up for this challenge? I am. She promised it feels good and feel like love.

Read Laura’s full article here.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka.

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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