How Do You Build Relationships?

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Halloo,

Please, I honestly need an answer from people, especially those who are great at making connections with people. I freely admit with no guilt attached that I am not very forthcoming at it.

I am polite to everybody, but don’t go chatting in private with everyone. I was accused of preaching kindness, support, loyalty, and things like that in my posts, but hardly respond to people making contact in private. I think we have a misunderstanding going on here. You agree with me? Let me clear the air!

There are people who have some seriously warped ideas of what kindness, support, loyalty, are. Once you refused to play along with their ideas of these things you are a fake person!

They find it hard to believe or accept that others might want to do things differently. I just find some of these things hilarious most of the time.

To some people, kindness is throwing money at every difficult situation, whether financial assistance is required or not, even when they could hardly afford it themselves. Support is buying Aso-Ebi (African party uniform) with a month salary to some people. Loyalty is inheriting your friend’s enemy in some people’s minds. I mean, I could go on and on about all these ridiculousness.

Now, you do all these and more, and you are clamouring to be accepted the way you are, not to be judged, to be allowed to be yourself… etc. That is okay, isn’t it? Be you by all means. Whatever makes you happy.

There is no problem until I make it clear that being you is exactly what I don’t want around me.

Oooops! Table turned! I am a bitch, I am judgemental, I am a FAKE PERSON? Yeah right!

Yeah, I preach and talk about people being left alone to be themselves, I am still very much on that. It is about positive mental health. But it doesn’t mean that there are seats at my table for every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I am selective in who I am friendly with. I suggest you do the same.

We really don’t know what we are asking for, do we? We want quality positive-minded people around us, but we are not allowed to judge and be selective? How is that supposed to work?

Every person I meet gets the same scrutiny from me. I like to think I am open-minded; I won’t unfairly judge you on race, religion, sex, etc, but I will be looking to see other things. Am I not allowed to choose that for myself?

Maybe because I am an introvert, I pick these vibes easily, maybe not. But I really can’t be or don’t want to be around negative energy. Sometimes maintaining a relationship with some people just become increasingly difficult. I tend to just go off and just let the relationship die naturally, no hard feeling.

I am out every day promoting my work online. I want to be known for writing quality content. I am not looking for cheap popularity. I hardly respond to anybody singing my praises. Not because I am snobbish, but because I came online to promote my work. Praise my work by interacting with it.

I give when I feel that it is genuinely needed. I don’t have much, but the little I have I am willing to give for worthy causes. I don’t give to be noticed. I don’t waste time on someone or something that I can tell straight away is not promising or have no basis or substance. It is a hard fact. I am very brutal when allocating my time and resources.

Those who think that once they come online, pick a particular person, throw a few likes here and there on the person’s posts, comment occasionally, and voila, the person is their personal friend is very well mistaken. I don’t think that is the way it works in real life? NO!

Relationships, long-lasting ones, take commitment and time. I speak solely for myself. I say thank you and move on when people do these. If my saying thank you gave you the go-ahead to jump to a private forum and start requesting to chat privately is met with silence, don’t feel bad.

Social Media is work for me! If you are not buying my products or reacting to my articles, we hardly have anything to talk about in private. Unless we have built a relationship in the open forum.

My idea of what I speak and write about are totally mine. How you choose to interpret them is totally yours. I will continue to preach kindness and support to those who find it useful. I want us to take mental health seriously. I am not going to change to please anybody, I won’t advise anyone to change to please me or anybody for that matter.

I have met a lot of amazing people online, that is why you never see me condemn responsible social media usage. My support network for chronic pain and fibromyalgia are all people I met online. They have helped me a lot. You too can use your online platforms to build solid relationships. Here is how.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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