Learning About Your Self-Worth

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Halloo,

How do you perceive yourself? I think the value most of us place on ourselves and our abilities may be what influences how others treat us. I trained myself to believe that nobody can look down on me unless I let them. They can try, but I am not going to let it move me one bit.

I fought hard to get my mindset to this stage. My self-esteem suffered a great deal at one stage of my life. I believed then I was a no-good, lazy person. Right from childhood, I have never been one of those who can do physical activities very well. I was always told I am lazy. I carried this image of myself around for years.

There was a time I nearly killed myself doing strenuous physical work to prove I was not a lazy person. It didn’t work out. Which made me frustrated. I wanted to prove myself so much that my mental health was affected.

Please, parents, if you are in the habit of talking down at your children or you see other adults in your children’s lives talking down at them, put a stop to it. You are giving them wrong images of themselves to carry around for the rest of their lives if care is not taken. We are all created differently with different abilities.

The new image of myself didn’t come by accident. I built myself up to accept that there are other ways to be useful than the ones given to me as a child. I use my mind instead of muscle. I don’t think anybody in their right mind, now, can regard me as lazy.

When we accept the image others create of us we will be disappointing ourselves. Some of the images created are positive ones, they placed some people on a high pedestal that they are afraid to disappoint the people who created this image for them and end up living a life of unhappiness.

There are times now when the image of me as a lazy person creeps into my mind. I try quickly to remind myself of the things I have achieved no matter how little or insignificant those things may appear to be to others. I don’t think the feeling can completely ever disappear; it is just finding a way to reverse the thought.

To know your worth is to not copy others, especially when their goals are totally different from yours. Admire them by all means, I am particularly in awe of strong women. I admire them a lot and love hearing their stories. I can’t copy them, their income, way of life, experiences, and status are not the same as mine. One of the reasons I don’t follow celebrities on social media, even those celebrities I admire.

Self-Worth is not going about with arrogance and being rude to people. It is recognizing your own abilities and the value you bring to situations. Not easy to discover, but a deep look into your heart and find what it desires most. Fight any negative feelings telling you that it’s impossible. Recognize your flaws, make peace with them. Then concentrate on your strengths. Many people will agree with me that we all have strengths and also flaws.

The feeling to please everyone or make everyone loves you is a major stumbling block for many people in knowing their worth. It is not possible for everyone to love you as it is not possible for you to love everyone. Striving to please everyone shows a lack of self-worth. Love and respect those who show you love and care.

There are people who trampled over others without a second thought, the same sets of people want others to treat them like royalty. A person who knows their worth will not accept such behaviour.

Some people will play mind games with you. Talk to you when it suits them or when their real choices are not available. They will completely ignore you when in the company of those they consider the right people. When you have self-esteem and know your worth you will refuse to play or take part in their dramas. This is empowering.

There is a lot of joy and peace that comes with appropriate self-esteem- first of all, you will love yourself and not sell yourself cheap for soul-sucking relationships (love affairs and friendships)

You will also take care of your physical appearance better. The healthy skin care, avoiding stress, exercising, and whatnot. These are not just for good body image but for general wellbeing. You won’t want to neglect yourself as is the case with poor self-worth.

I keep track of my progress to tell myself that I am not doing too badly considering my circumstances. I also do this to increase my self-confidence. There is nothing like a sense of achievement to boost your esteem, even if the achievements are very small.

I believe myself more as a useful person to my environment. Yes, I sometimes doubt myself on some things, but I am learning to find alternatives to things I want to do but can’t do because of my limitations.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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