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Halloo,
A recent event just showed me that the less you explain yourself the better for you and your mental wellbeing.
Sometimes I give an explanation because I know if the shoes were on the other foot I will want explanation too.
You see, I make it a point of duty not to explain myself to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I only offer an explanation to people I have respect for. I explain myself to people who offer me support and show me they care.
But, this is also proving to be a wrong move. Some of these people take it into their head that I owe them the explanation and make a thing about it or, worse of all, openly show they do not believe me. Not knowing that my choice to explain is born out of respect and appreciation, not duty.
The worst part of it is when your explanation makes little or no difference to their perception. You feel very bad because you expect understanding and got nothing.
I am a fibromyalgia Warrior, that means I live with constant pain and it’s associated problems. I am not going to explain anymore why I can’t do some activities. I am tired of explaining myself out of guilt to people who refused to understand.
I have enough to deal with, I don’t need this added to the list. So even if I love and respect you I am still going to offer no explanation or apologies. I am tired.
It is no secret that I struggle most of the time. I openly talk about it. Why then do I need to keep explaining to people? I am emotionally drained!
I think what most people don’t know about Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain is that you can be in shape to do something one minute and totally unable to do it the next minute. This is what Invisible illness is.
This is one of the reason my anxiety level is high. I am scared most of the time that I am going to disappoint somebody because of pain. I hate to be disappointed and hate it even more when I disappoint others.
So, it is sad when this is being thrown back in my face.
I always give people a lot of excuses for behaving this way. I say maybe because I am an introvert and not into socializing that made them think that is why I am refusing, so I try to explain. That stops now!
I am grateful to many people in my life for many different reasons. I think for a loner I am indeed blessed. But the emotional turmoil needs to end. I am not able for it anymore.
So I will like to state clearly…
This is Ruka.
Out to impress no one.
I owe no one any explanation.
I make no apologies for my choices.
I am Just simply being the best I can be.
Peace and Love!
Stay with me,
Ruka
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